When Malik met Anzu The True Story
by Erika Darkmoon
Summary: THE TRUE STORY OF HOW MALIK MET ANZU! Because we all know how the dubbed version of Yugioh was really stupid and childish! YUGIOH BASHING!


Erika: Ladeedadeeda! I'm sincerely bored so I've decided to write a fic! Joy and happiness!

Malik: What's it gonna be about this time? Naked men pole dancing?

Erika: Well actually…….

Malik: OH RA NO!

Erika: I was kidding. Actually this is gonna be about something that I will explain below in the summary and whatnot.

Malik: Oh okay. You aren't gonna make me gay are you?

Erika: I will if you don't shut up.

Malik: Fine.

Erika: Anyway this is a one shot so read, review, and enjoy.

X

_When Malik met Anzu (The true story)_

_Genre: Humor_

_Rated: R_

_Summary: This starts when Malik met Anzu. After this point, there is no point at all. For your sake I will not go on forever. This will be a one shot fic. Hilarity all around._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh but I do own my own ideas for this fic. I also do not own Happy Tree Friends. _

_Notes/Warnings: If you cannot handle violence, blood, gore, perverted gay people, and lime/lemon scenes do not read on. _

_Atemu: Gay_

_Anzu: Straight and virgin (well duh!)_

_Kaiba: Gay_

_Mokuba: Innocent virgin_

_Malik: Straight (virgin)_

_Jounochi: Straight and virgin. _

_Bakura: Uh, well duh not virgin. Into bloody gory cartoons about cute bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks, and other cute cuddly forest animals AKA Happy Tree Friends._

_Ryou: Sweet little cute guy that he always is. (Do I have to tell you if he's a virgin or not?)_

X

Malik's POV

'_Jounochi brags too much….but then again it keeps him in an illusion that I'm good! Mwahahahahahahaha (cough) ha. Ugh stupid cold.'_

"I could beat Malik and his thugs any day! Jus' let me at 'em."

'_Argh stupid mofo bastard.'_

"I'm sure you're very good." Anzu rolled her eyes at my statement.

"Come on Katsuya we need to find Yuugi!" She exclaimed….hey she was kinda hot. Ya gotta love those curves and that mouth. Oh yeah.

"NAMU!" Jumping I almost swore.

"What?" I hated being polite, stupid bastards, well except for Anzu.

"We'll see ya 'round 'kay buddy?" Katsuya asked warmly. Hehehehe you fools you'll be around me for a long time!

"Yes I'm sure I will." I turned away and started to walk away when I heard there cries for help.

'_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're all mine now…..Anzu could become my sex toy, hehehehehe, that has possibilities.'_

X

A few minutes later in the Helicopter……

"OH KAIBA!" Yami shrieked as he umm, had an, uh, well, you know.

"YEAH BABY! THIS IS HOW I LIKE IT!" Kaiba growled. Mokuba sat in the corner staring at them with this expression: OO'''''''''''

"MY INNOCENT VIRGIN EYES! AHHHHHHHH!"

"Mr. Kaiba we'll be landing soon." His pilot said, unaware of the action going on behind him.

"DON'T STOP KAIBA DON'T STOP!" Atemu moaned as Kaiba sucked on his neck.

Suddenly there was a slight bump and the couple landed on Mokuba. Sadly, they started to umm, well, you know when a dog finds another dog and latches on? That's what they were doing.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HELP ME!" Mokuba shrieked from under the Viagra drugged pair. The pilot turned around.

O.O'''''''''''''''''' He quickly turned back around, put the helicopter on autopilot and came back there.

"Can I join?" He asked Kaiba.

"Three's better!" Atemu moaned. Therefore, the pilot joined and the all fucked on top of Mokuba. Poor Mokuba.

Malik's POV

'_Mwahahahahahaha! Now I have Jounochi under my control! The idiot Pharaoh will never stop me now! Hey, is Anzu licking her lips at me. Hehehehe, I wonder. Oh my Ra, she's walking towards me and she's…..oh wow.'_

A few minutes later…

'_I've never felt a lap dance this good before. And she's not even on mind control! Oh yeah….wait, what is she putting her head between my legs for? OH MY RA!'_

X

At the Dock…..

"Where in the hell is Malik?" Kaiba muttered angrily.

"Oh Kaiba honey, don't be mad at him." Atemu sighed girlishly, "If he doesn't show up in five minutes we can go fuck in the helicopter again. Maybe Mokuba will join us. Like incest is such a turn-on!"

"Isn't it." Kaiba sighed. He pulled Atemu into his arms and started to give him another hickey.

Suddenly Malik jumped out, his hair ruffled.

"Pharaoh! I challenge you to a duel!"

Blink.

"I thought you were gonna make Jou fight me." Atemu said.

Blink.

"Tell you what Pharaoh. You give Anzu to me and I'll let you save the world."

"Sure. But you can't take Kaiba, he's my bitch!"

OO'''''''

"I'm not even gay you reknob!"

"Still, you could take him and he's my bitch!"

"I won't take Kaiba you incesting asswipe!"

"Fine. Come on Kaiba baby, let's go fuck!"

' _'Stupid dikes.'_ Malik thought as they ran towards the helicopter.

Malik's POV

'_Oh my Ra they're scary. O.O''''' OH MY RA! They're fricken having a suck on top of Kaiba's brat brother! OH MY FRICKEN RA!'_ I turned around and retched my guts out.

'_Oh no! Now when Anzu kisses me it'll taste like acid and hot dog chunks! I need LISTERINE!'_ Swallows a bottle of Listerine.

'_Ahhhhhh! It burns! Blech. But minty freshness. Oh Anzu dearest! Come kiss me!'_

X

Back in the Helicopter…..

"OH KAIBA!" Atemu shrieked.

(A/N: Let's not go any farther shall we?)

X

At Bakura's house…..

Bakura sat at the computer with an evil grin. Ryou watched him for five minutes until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"What in the bloody hell are you watching?" He asked walking over. When he saw Bucky the Squirrel with his eyes gouged out he made an expression quite like this: OO'''''''''''''

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Hehehehehe, bloody." Ryou smacked Bakura upside the head. Bakura turned around growling with an insane deranged look on his face. Ryou backed off.

"Hehehe, sorry mate. Got carried away. Uh, I'm, uh, gonna go, uh, shopping! Uh bye!" Ryou sped out the door. Bakura gave him a quizzical look and then turned back to Happy Tree Friends. He smiled and patted the side of the monitor.

"How could I have ever lived without you?" He asked the computer affectionately.

Jounouchi's POV

'_Being in dis dark box is weird. It's dark but I can tell dere are walls. Hey, I feel like someone is sucking on my dick. Wait is that…….OH MY FUCKING GOD! Anzu's giving Malik a suck! GET ME OUT OF YOUR MIND YOU SICK FUCK! Oh dat's better. I kinda like it in here. It's better dan having Atemu inviting me to have sex with him 24 7. I dink I'm gonna stay in here in dis weird box thingy. Yeah.'_

X

Erika: Soooooo, how'd you like it? I know it's stupid and has no point whatsoever but I was bored okay? Please review.

Malik: I liked it.

Erika: Really?

Malik: No.

Erika::blinks: Whatever you baka inu.


End file.
